What if you loved them anyway?

Relationships with people are some of the hardest challenges we will face in this lifetime and yet, we are created for connection with others! It seems like I’m going through some growth challenge/opportunity at work or in my personal life, daily! It also seems we are in a season of HUGE anxiety and our tipping point is a short fuse away from the bomb inside us exploding onto whoever is near! 

I was discussing a frustrating situation with my friend this week …and I could feel hers and my stress elevating. I stopped the conversation and said “What if we loved them anyway?” She stopped and gave me that look of confusion and said, “what?!” I said, just go with me here and I could be totally off base, but as I’m listening to you, I’m getting stressed, I hear your stress and none of this is good for us!  The worst part is, they probably don’t even think this situation is as big of a deal as it is to you and I…so, to save us both from a future heart attack, 

What if: 

• We chose to believe what they are doing wasn’t meant to be an attack on you? And just believe their heart was in the right place even though they handled things differently than you would. 

• We meet people where they are and walk with them to learn their perspective and share our perspective with them in loving support versus a heated conflict?

• What if we decided to forgive them for any offense we took?

Now I know this is completely counter cultural AND much easier said than done, but go with me for a bit longer…what is it that most of us want in our relationships when we are in a conflict?….to be heard, to be seen, to be understood/validated….

When we don’t get this, it’s easy to point the finger at others and tell them all the reasons why they are wrong in what they did. And although you might be absolutely spot on, how do you think that conversation will go?…I’m venturing to guess not towards the direction of reconciliation or in any proximity of a closer connection…

So knowing that proving our rightness won’t end well for us, how do we find the courage to love people despite believing they may be wrong? 

I’ll be honest this is where we need to lean on our faith & dig deep into our own hearts and remember a time when we ourselves made a mistake or hurt someone …and they did the unspeakable…forgave us!!!!

Forgiving others is HARD! Believe me, I KNOW IT IS! And yet, it is the ONLY thing, I have found, that truly heals our hearts. Choosing to forgive keeps our heart soft, open to spiritual wisdom, it keeps stress low, helps us stay in tune with others, and allows us to relate with what others are going through and…it keeps us leading our life in love. 

Are you willing to be brave & try this new approach with me? What do we have to lose? 

All the best, 

Marci