What does failure and success look like to you?

In a Forbes article I read, it says the difference between success and failure is all about your mindset. 80% of our success is related to our “why” or our “purpose”; our belief systems around our success, and only 20% is related to our actions and behaviors.

The more time we spend on clearly identifying what the definition of success and failure is in our mind and integrating it into our belief system, the more aligned our actions will be in carrying out those daily behaviors that focus us towards our goals. I see this quite often when I coach couples around money. 

Here’s an example on how my husband and I needed to redefine success and failure when it came to managing money and achieving our family’s financial goals. 

This came about when we would have conversations that turned heated when it came to the different ideas and ways we thought we should spend and save money. We knew we were not winning with money because we never wanted to discuss it and we ultimately were not getting ahead.  Each month felt like we would break even or worse, the “gotchas” of unexpected expenses would leave us feeling depleted! 

We knew we needed help, so we hired a Dave Ramsey Financial Coach to help us realign our financial goals and create better money habits that would set us up for more cohesive money conversations and an agreed upon approach to achieving our short term and long term goals.

We sat down and defined norms and created our own  definitions of success and failures when it comes to our money.

Our definition of success meant that we did the following: 

• We create a monthly budget together, 

• We regularly discuss our financial goals, dreams, desires together and revise them when they change or evolve,

• We agree to meet once a week for a business meeting to discuss finances, schedules, anything else that required joint conversation or decision-making, 

• If we come across a spend we didn’t anticipate or we didn’t discuss in our budget, we agreed to a certain threshold both of us could spend without consulting each other, 

• If a spend was over our agreed threshold, we agreed not to spend the money until we could discuss it in our weekly business meeting and agree together if and when we would spend it. 

• If we make a mistake, we give ourselves grace and we cushion our budget to absorb safe mistakes without catastrophic impacts.

We then defined what it means to us to fail at money. We came up with the following:

• We don’t create a monthly budget together,

• We spend money outside of our budget or threshold we determined without consulting each other, 

• We are not aligned and making forward progress together with our money our short-term and long-term goals,

• We make irrational purchases or go rogue in our spending.

• We don’t share our money thoughts and goals with each other especially if it changes from when we last discussed it

This example of defining success and failure with money proved to make a world of difference in our marriage, I became a Master Financial Coach with the Ramsey Solutions team! I saw first hand what it did for us and I am passionate to help others reshape their money conversations/goals too!

Taking time to define what we believe success and failure looks like can be applied to all areas of our life. What I found doing this exercise opened the door to more compassionate conversations with myself and others. I was able to articulate what my purpose and passions are and I could be more mindful to align my actions to support me instead of mindlessly sabotaging myself or living into assumptions. When I start to slide into bad habits or failures, I am able to stop and ask what is causing this behavior? What do I need to do to realign my goals towards more successful behaviors?

I’m sure you could think of many more examples of how you can practice this. Share with me how you are redefining this in your life! 

• What areas have you defined success & failures in your life? 

• How has this work helped you become more compassionate towards yourself and others? 

• How have you learned to recover from failures?

Email me your feedback at marcibrowncoaching@gmail.com…

All the best, 

Marci